You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming someone else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on. ~ Oprah Winfrey
It’s fair to say that we are all survivors of life. We have all been hurt, let down and emotionally wounded in our time. It’s as much a part of living as feeling happy and loved. And if we are really honest, we all have dysfunctional traits, self-sabotaging ways and playing the blame game is often one of them.
There’s no doubt about it, our hurts and our wounds are often at the hands of others, especially those that arise in our childhood. Pain, grief, suffering, anger, insecurity, disinterest in life and a lack of trust are the residual feelings that are left, resulting in fear, which we then go on to project at others and often through the blame game.
It is a limiting and self-sabotaging game, that often starts with the word “you” and involves an awful lot of finger pointing and throwing negative emotions at around. Let’s face it. It’s an easy option to continue to blame others for our insecurities, issues and wounds instead of stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility for who we are in the now.
When we play the blame game, we remain stuck in the past and wounded. The blame game stops any form of transformation through healing occurring and, without healing, we can’t move on and develop a healthy and happier way of being.
The blame game can also be used to exact some kind of revenge when we feel wronged. Yet the greatest revenge is when we feel no need for revenge at all. It’s moving on with your life and no longer allowing the past to affect you.
When we drop the blame game, we are not saying what has happened to us is ok, but we are rising above the situation to allow the healing to begin and to start moving forward. We begin to liberate ourselves, not only from our past but also our self-sabotaging ways. By taking responsibility for ourselves, we take our life back into our own hands.
Forgiveness need not follow immediately, but the journey to healing our wounds starts with accepting personal responsibility for who we are today, with compassion, rather than pointing the finger of blame at what was done to us in the past.
Only when we accept personal responsibility for exactly who we are at this moment in time, are we ready to step up and start the journey of healing and transforming ourselves for the better.
So, if you feel yourself fall into the trap of the blame game, rise above it. Step into your power and look within to free yourself.
Your ultimate freedom is to own your power to decide who you are, what you feel and what your needs are. Find Your Roar gives you the tools to do just that. To be a feminine force to be reckoned. Check out my Find Your Roar Assertiveness Training. Click the image below for full details.
(c) Samantha Wilson 2016. All Rights Reserved.