She Found Her Voice And Her Cry Was Freedom
Following on from my recent post “5 Signs Signs Your Soul Is Crying For Freedom“, a follower on my Facebook page asked “my soul is crying for freedom. What do I do now?”.
I write from my experiences in the lead up to walking away from my legal career in 2011. My soul was crying for freedom for years before I finally reached my limits. In the last 12 months, the pressure dramatically increased. On the one hand, I had the fire of change burning in my belly. On the other hand, I was completely burnt out. I had zero energy to change my life with a sense of knowing that I couldn’t carry on. I couldn’t see a way out.
If you want to know where your heart lies, look where your mind goes when it wanders
I love to let my imagination run loose and I spent a lot of my time dreaming of how different my life could be. Whenever I let my mind off the leash to go for a wander, it crossed the seas to Spain.
A seed was planted when I was nine year old on holiday in Spain. I fell in love with the country. On a train journey through the spanish countryside, on the way to Barcelona, as I worked my way through a bag of Sevilla oranges, I burst out in excitement “Imagine living here! They have oranges on the trees!”.
As an adult, I made many visits to Barcelona. The food and vino, culture and architecture, Barcelona remains at the top of my list of favourite cities in the world.
Finally, a horse riding holiday in the foothills and mountains of the Sierra Nevada in Granada gave the seed a good watering and a promise I made on a mountain top to my fellow riders, that one day I would live there, all played back in my mind.
The UK is my country of birth but my heart longed for and felt at home in a place 2000 miles away. Even though I couldn’t see a way out, I knew what my soul wanted.
My heart wanted to go home to Spain.
There was no plan and no expectation that I would be able to make it happen. I told myself it was a pipe dream. Nothing more. To make it happen, I would have to leave my legal career, my guaranteed salary, my safety and security. I was a single woman. Single women don’t move to foreign countries on their own. Especially when they don’t speak the language. Life carried on yet I felt a sense of lack, a deep void inside that couldn’t be filled.
Low and behold, my breakthrough was on the way. In mid 2011, life responded to the rumblings of my soul and the wrecking ball of life paid me a daily visit over the course of two weeks. A multitude of random events hammered through my resistance, set off a cataclysmic explosion inside and a volcano erupted into one word roared at the top of my voice. ENOUGH!!!!!!!! I was done. The ball was finally rolling, the fire in my belly won out and within three months, I set off to Spain to begin again.
My experiences are a little extreme. Not every soul hungers for a move to a foreign country. Your freedom could relate to any area of your life but, I promise you, if your soul is rumbling for freedom, look to where your mind wanders when you day-dream. Engage with your imagination and you will be shown where your heart lies. Your soul always knows the way.
And if you experience your enough is finally enough moment, with the wrecking ball of life bringing you a dose of chaos, understand that the breakdown of your life is the breakthrough of your resistance to change, to your excuses and your fear of the unknown. Your enough is finally enough moment is the key that unlocks the cage that contains you and freedom lies ahead.
(c) Samantha Wilson 2016. All Rights Reserved